On being a teacher will no classroom management skills

Thursday, February 3, 1994, 9 PM

This week's tired me out quite a bit. I'll be glad when that last bell rings tomorrow. I'll be home this weekend, probably getting back to my mural.

Something strange happened in class today. I had begun teaching my 3A class after lunch when I suddenly heard a flapping sound pass me by. I stared down from the chalkboard and saw a bird not more than a few inches away from me, sitting quietly on the edge [of the board], apparently not at all afraid of me. The students momentarily gazed at it in silent wonder, as did I, and then it was off, flying out through the door.

Thursday, February 10, 8:20 AM

Got pissed off for the first time in class today. I didn't lose my cool or anything like that, I just got tired of seeing them half asleep with their books closed. I stopped teaching 3/4 of the way through and told them to do their assignment. At the end of the class I passed by one girl who hadn't even done one number yet; I asked her why and she just stared into space, saying nothing. In retrospect, I find I shouldn't have behaved that way to the class but couldn't think of a way to even get my hopes up. I need to cool down.

First page of Book II.

Postscript 2010: The bird flying into class did freak me out. The classrooms were part of a compound, and in order for a bird to fly in, it had to come into the compound, swoop under the awning, and come in through the classroom doorway. But it did. I don't believe in prescient signs, but if I were to, I might have thought that the bird's appearance was telling me I should try to stay calm and find some inner peace.


I didn't, as the second entry demonstrates. My frustration in class was so upsetting to me that I felt the need to walk home right after the class and write in my journal. The journal had become in a very real sense a means for me to reflect on what was happening around me. There were no other teachers with whom I could share my frustrations. That's owing to two factors. On the one hand, I surmised that the other teachers could not relate to my frustration. I suspected they would dismiss the students' behaviour as typical and beyond any effort worth changing. The second reason was rooted in a stubborn pride, a reluctance on my part to show others that I was at a loss to handle my classes. 


Had I been older and wiser (I'm definitely older now...as for being wiser, let's hope so) I would have made an effort to ask other teachers for advice. In retrospect, it was rather shortsighted for a volunteer organization to send inexperienced people out in the field and leave them alone for two years and expect them to do a good job teaching when they've never taught a day in their life. I had no resources at my disposal: this was pre-Internet, pre-TV, and in most places, pre-telephone. I had no books on classroom management, nor anything on teaching mathematics, formulating lesson plans, evaluating students...nothing. The only teaching material I brought with me was a big, fat piece of chalk that my Calculus II Mathematics teacher Sir David gave me prior to departure. I still have the chalk, by the way. It was too special for me to use.


It must be said that the stuff I was teaching was of little interest to the students. The textbooks I had to work with were very theoretical (see the photo for a page from "Secondary Mathematics Book 3"). I had to find a way to teach that would capture the interests of the students (and keep me interested as well). It would take a long time for that to happen, but it did eventually. 


While I wrote that in retrospect I would have sought advice from others, one thing I would not have done was to prepare myself on becoming a teacher by relying on books telling me how to teach. I think some people have a natural affinity for teaching, and I wouldn't have gone to Malawi if I didn't think I had what was necessary to be a good teacher.

Chapter 1, Secondary Mathematics Book 3:
Do not try this at home. No, really.